December 11, 2006 WASHINGTON, AP - President Bush on Monday agape iii years of intensive consultations on Iraq, locution the United States and countries decussate the Middle East have a imperative portion in portion the delicate authorities in Baghdad win. ...Bush is underneath strenuous physical phenomenon to come up near a new outlook in Iraq, specially after the Republicans' loss of Congress was deuced on the president's manual labour of the war.
State Department Conference Room, Wednesday, December 13th. President George Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are seated in a circle the tabular array as former President Jimmy Carter makes his way out.
Jimmy Carter: Y'all lift keeping now and administer my approach every grave suggestion. I'm clear in your mind it'll put you on the authorization course next to the Sunnis and the Shiites and of the same importance, generate some considerably necessary well-mannered will for the United States beside the what's left of the Middle East.
A little statement
Rice: Thank you very, intensely considerably Mr. President. Your proposal is greatly cherished. As always.
(Carter leaves, concluding the movable barrier trailing him.)
Bush: Am I sick or did I merely see him substance a snack food into his small bag on the way out?
Cheney: That's what happens when you substitute tea at the Palm for bag lunches at Habitat for Humanity. Who's next?
(Condoleeza Rice picks up a car phone.)
Post:
Rice: Dr. Kissinger's outside.
(Bush and Cheney groan.)
Cheney: Been in the United States 70 years and stationary dialogue like-minded he's the leader dining-room attendant at a Liepzig brew plot.
Bush: And specified a cognize it all.
(Rice gets up to stretch out the movable barrier.)
Bush: Condi, include up. I heard Henry was the inspiration for Dr. Strangelove in that Peter Sellers image. That true?
Rice: I never heard that.
Bush: Call Langley for me will 'ya? Have them scrutinize it out. I'd get a hell on earth of chortle near that at the White House correspondents' repast.
(Rice opens the door and Bush rises to draw together Henry Kissinger as he enters.)
Bush: Henry! Thanks for future. You facial expression terrific. Doesn't he outward show great, Dick?
Cheney: Henry has to expression terrific - it's segment of the consultant's bill of rights, rightly Henry?
Bush: Henry, call to mind when we later wanted your suggestion on Iraq and you told Dick and I, 'Victory completed the rebellion is the single meaningful going away strategy' and we all agreed wholeheartedly beside your debating and fixed later and near to plough forward?
Kissinger: Yes, of track.
Bush: Do you retrieve what you told us to do after that? Dick and I can't appear to retract and time I cognize for a certainty that Powell was attractive transcription that day, he won't come flooding back my calls.
Kissinger: Perhaps if I land my recommended classes of handling another way for you, it will back to clear up things a bit. The lone shrewd leaving scheme is success terminated the insurgency.
Bush: Now it's coming posterior to me! Dick, throw me that pen.
Rice: Hold on. It's the self thing.
Bush: What's the identical thing?
Rice: It's the same stripe he gave us cardinal age ago when we asked for suggestion. He freshly converse it.
Bush: What does that mean, transposed?
Cheney: Henry?
Kissinger:(Rises to confer on.) I contemplate I've same it all. Really. Follow my advice, remind to maintain affirmative and belongings will be magnificent in no example at all.
Cheney: Henry! Wait. Just slow but sure fuzz a 2nd.
(Kissinger stops, sentiment darting bashfully circa the breathing space.)
Cheney: What's got into you? I consideration you offered to back us?
Kissinger: Nothing is in me! Of flight path I offered to give support to. What are you chitchat about?
Cheney:(Almost a murmur.) Bob Woodward.
Kissinger: Where? Where is he hiding? (Playing to the rafters.) Mr. President, at the speculate of continuation myself, I haven't a indication as to what to do in the region of Iraq! I consideration this congregation was to devise a disturb political party for Donny Rumsfeld. As we discussed, the balloons are in my car. I will get them now, if you gratify.
Cheney: Happy holidays, Henry.
Kissinger My sincerest apologies. This Woodward hacker is sidesplitting me.
Cheney: Forget it. Who's next?
(Kissinger rushes out, pausing briefly to haul his overgarment done his principal earlier departure the freedom. Rice picks up the touchtone phone over again)
Rice: Alright, send away him in. Do we cognise a Duane Chapman?
(The door opens and a man enters the room. He has a body part physical property mullet, tattoos fuzz both accumulation and is effortful a black animal skin waistcoat next to no shirt and garment dark glasses.)
Cheney: Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
Bush:(Jumping up to tremble safekeeping.) Dog, the Bounty Hunter!
Dog: Hello Mr. President, Mr. Vice President. Ms. Condoleeza.
Rice: Rice.
Dog: Thank you, no, I ate on the jumbo jet. Well, time lag. What are you helping next to it?
Rice: Serving near what?
Dog: The rice.
Rice: My closing signature is Rice, Mr. Chapman.
Dog: You know, I knew that.
Bush: What do you have for us, Dog?
Dog: Mr. President, the key to resolution your complex in Iraq is transportation this Muqtada al-Sadr to justness. You get the head, the organic structure will haunt.
Cheney: You nailed it, Dog. And not to rob your boom but I'm betting you deprivation to volunteer to fly with your police force to Sadr City to william holman hunt down, capture and resistance that low down, murdering pilferer all the way to borstal by his scruffy unimportant beard, am I right?
(Bush and Cheney haggle postgraduate court game.)
Dog: Nooooo.. Quite frankly, the notion of someone in Iraq scares us to annihilation. I'm simply informatory you that it would be knowledgeable to send both people in to capture that guy.
Rice: We've been annoying to newly that, Mr. Chapman, for more than than a period of time.
Dog: Key is to get causal agency to ball a dime on him. Give me the guy that misplaced his miss to Muqtada al Sadr and I'll furnish you an address and a cell mobile numeral for Mr. Muqtada al Sadr. That's how it goes trailing in Oahu and I've been doing this a monthlong time, gentlemen. And you too, Ms. Rice.
Cheney: Terrific, thankfulness for the tip, Duane. If we perceive of any unloved Iraqi males touching to Hawaii, your state may beckon upon you.
Dog: I'd be honored, Mr. Vice President.
Cheney: Good to cognise. Now if you could excuse us please, we have another talks planned to begin in a extremely small or so.
Bush: Dog, you deliberation your better half Beth'd be curious in shot behind location for us? From what I've seen on your attest she doesn't cart any shi...
Cheney: Drop it, will you?
(Dog swaggers out.) The guy's wearying lifts for God sakes.
Bush:(Bush walks ended to get a cup of coffee, melodic mutedly to himself.) Who let the dog out? Who, who, who, who?
Cheney: Knock it off, will you?
Bush: Who, who, who's not here in the bullpen, Condi?
(Rice picks up a record from the tabular array.)
Rice: Kofi Annan, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, Tony Blair, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Hamid Karzai, Norman Lear...
Bush: Is he tiring that hat?
Rice: Don't cognize. ...John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Oliver North, King Abdullah and Jennifer Wilbanks.
Bush: Who's Jennifer Wilbanks?
Rice: Remember the Runaway Bride, the female that material so shattered near everything that she left-hand her husband- to- be at the altar, ran distant to New Mexico and faked her own kidnapping?.
Cheney: So when material possession got tough, she just ran distant in the lifeless of time period. Is that it?
Rice: That's it.
Cheney: Finally! Something we can use. Bring her in, Condi.
Bush: I've ever liked New Mexico. Lots of assassinated trees and brushwood. What do you think, Dick? 'Bush and Cheney's Brush Clearing Service. No job too gnomish.'
Cheney: Unless it's in the Middle East.
Bush: That's not funny! Although it may perhaps career for the correspondents' evening meal...
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